I DON'T KNOW

17th JULY....

The most memorable day of my life. The day when I met the Love of my life. The day when I had been proposed by a guy who meant everyhing to me. He gave me all that love, care which I wanted from a guy. He was the first guy with whom I was so comfortable and could not live without. I was never able to hide things from him. I would express my feelings and thoughts to him in different forms. He had always been a right hand of mine. He used to nurture me like a kid and treat like a perfect gentlmen. Its really difficult to find a person like him in todays world. An innocent guy whose innocense reflects in his eyes. The purity of truth lie in his eyes. He can never fake to this world. He is a guy who has got a clean heart. A person with whom you can spent your entire time, you can never get bored with him. When we were together we enjoyed each and every moment of it and made the time really very special.

I still remember the day when I had received my first kissfrom him. We were not so close to each other at that time just had got feelings for each other. We used to be the two bodies dwilling in one soul. He has done a lot for me and has given me a lot in life. I'm lacking with words to thank him.

BUT a sudden turn came into our life, the time when I had to let him go.........Things suddenly all of a sudden went all wrong between us and we got seperated. For me it was as an end to my life, I was completely out of my mind and didn't know how to react on it. I was all shattered and broken. But for his happyness I had to move ahead. I started traeting him very meanly, rudely and was harsh at him just to create that hateness for me in him. I didn't even want him to take me as a freind cause maybe even there we would come up to no conclusion.

I know I will never be able to live without him but I don't want him to bare that pain again by getting back to me. I have never given given him happiness, have always taken him as well as things wrongly. The way he understood me I was never able to understand him. The amount of trust which he has on me I could never build that trust for him. I was never able to live upto his expectations because of which today I find him going away from me.

I just want to see him happy for that I'll do whatever I'll have to. I'll not mess his life anymore. He will always find me besides him whenever he'll be in need of a freind. But I will never interfare in his life. I know he amount of love that we have given to each other, can never be given to anyone else. I know he still loves me but...........

I don't know will I ever be able to create the same love for my soulmate. I don't know that will I be able to live without him. I don't know............................

One thing I know is that I'll be the most luckiest person on earth if I get another chance to make things better and to get along with him for the rest of my life. I wish to die in his arms.

I'LL KEEP LOVING YOU TILL THE END OF MY LIFE AS YOU ARE THE FIRST AND THE LAST LOVE OF MY LIFE. YOU ARE THE ONLY LOVE OF MY LIFE......

REALLY MISSING YOU AND THE MOMENTS SPENT WITH YOU......

PLEASE COME BACK DEAR

REALLY NEED YOU

BEST TIMES OF MY LIFE...

I miss you when something really good happens, 

because you are the one I want to share it with.

I miss you when something is troubling me,

because you are the one who understands me so well.

I miss you when I laugh and cry,

because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear.

I miss you all the time,

but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other;

for those were some of the best times of my life...

MY ACCEPTANCE OF UR LOVE

Na Kuch Poocha, Na Kuch Manga
Tune Dil Se Diya Jo Diya
Na Kuch Bola, Na Kuch Tola
Muskura Ke Diya Jo Diya
Tu Hi Dhoop, Tu Hi Chaya
Tu Hi Apna Paraya
Aur Kuch Na Janu, Bas Itna Hi Janu
(Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karun) - 2
Sajde Sar Jhukta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karun
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mein Kya Karun
Rab Ne.. Bana Di Jodii.....

BEETE LAMBHEIN.............d unforgetable memories...........

Dard Main Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jate Hain

Beete Lambhain Humein Jab Bhi Yaad Aate Hain)-2

Beete Lambheinnnnn



(Chand Lambhaat Ke Vaaste Hi Sahi
Mushkura Kar Mili Thi Mujhe Zindagi) - 2
Teri Aagosh Din The Mere Kate
Teri Baaahon Mein Thi Mere Raatien Kati
Ooooooooo OO

Aaj Bhi Jab Woh Pal Mujhko Yaad Aate Hain
Dil Se Saare Gumo Ko Bhoola Jate Hai
(Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jaate Hai
Beete Lambhein Humein Jab Bhi Yaad Aate Hai) - 2
Beete Lambheinnnnn

(Mere Kandhein Mein Sar Ko Jukana Tera
Mere Sene Mein Khud Ko Chupana Teraa) - 2
Aake Mere Panaho Mein Shaam-O-Seher
Kanch Ki Trah Woh Tut Jana Tera

Ooooooooo OO
Aaj Bhi Jab Woh Manzar Nazar Aate Hai
Dil Ki Viraniyon Ko Mita Jate Hai

(Dard Mein Bhi Yeh Lab Muskura Jaate Hai
Beet Lambhein Humein Jab Bhi Yaad Aate Hai) - 2
Beete Lambheinnnnn
Dard Mein ...Beete Lambheinnnnn

MY LIFE

My Jaan............My Life............. A person who brought back my life. He was the one whom I met for the first time with a huge fight. We never used to talk to each other properly. We were always rude with each other and always used to fight for some or the other reason. I used to tease him by the name of my freind and instead of my freind I used to give him miss calls. This was how we started talking to each other. Through that one miss call we turned out to be such good freinds that survival became hard for us without each other. I was the first girl with whom he has ever spoken so comfortably. We used to share each and every small thing with each other. We were never comfortable with anyone else till today so much as we were with each other.

It was our dashain break when he had gone to bangalore to spend his vacation with his sisters. When he came back he had to finish off with number of assignments. So we helped him and one day at my brother's place he misplaced his maths assignment for which I had been blamed and for that he had even slapped me. But I did not mind at all I don't know why, instead I made a project for him waking the entire night. He is a person who can be believed blindly. We then had become really very good freinds and this was the time when i actually started having feelings for him. We used to go out together and spend a lot of time together.

It was our school annual function where I really wanted to perform with him, so I asked him for it and it was so sweet of him for me he danced with he. We performed together in the annual function. It was great the time was awesome. We used to have lots of fun and we used to go to number of places together. This was the time when he hugged me and kissed me for the first time. We used to go for tutions together which in itself had a different experience. We most of the time used to reach half an hour before everyone else and used to spent time together blabbering and blabbering nonstop. It was so much fun to be with him. He was a person who gave me a new life. He taught me the importance of life and brought back smile on my face. He turned my life into the world of Love and Beauty. I can never thank him and forget whatever he has done for me to bring happiness in my life.

17th July:
The most special, important and valuable day of our life. The day when we shared our feelings with each other. The day when he had proposed me at 11:30 at night. This is really a very special day for me which has changed my life completely. We asked each other about number of things and made each other understand and made each other capable enough to face the future. He has given me so much of love that no one till today has given me. I really love him a lot more than anything else in this world. He could never ever bare a small scratch on me, he used to get so much tensed and panicked whenever he used to see me upset or in pain. He always did things that would make me happy, that would bring a smile on my face. He could never see tears in my eyes.

There are endless memories that we have spent together which cannot be all disclosed here. Thank you so much honey for coming into my life and making it so beautiful. Thank You for making me and my life so much special and precious. It is really hard for me to survive without him.

LOVE U Honey.

MISSING U

In my small heart there is so much of space that I can fit as much as people I want to fit in it. But it consists of 2 special people one is my bhaiya and the other is my love.

My Bhaiya........what should I say about him? I get speechless when it comes to a point of describing bhaiya.He is a person on whom one can easily rely on. He was the one who could never see tears in my eyes. My one tear used to make him cry as well. He really loved me a lot. He was the one who taught me how to crawl and how to walk. He showed me the path which leads towards the destination of life. I used to be his lady luck or should I say his lucky charm. Things and time were so jolly and we were so happy in it. Bhaiya could never see me hurt. He could not bare my pain. Even if I used to get a small scratch or a cut he used to panick. He would mess up the entire place to cure my pain. He used to feed me , teach me, take me around and spend time with me. He made me realise the actual importance of life. He was a very jolly person who had always been there in each and every hurdle of life..........but a day came that changed our lives completely.

27th December:
A day when all of us were so happy because bhaiya was going to come to Kathmandu for his Engagement Ceremony. All of us were so much busy preparing for the ceremony. It was 9 at night I had last spoken to bhaiya about how he is feeling and how much is he excited about everything. Suddenly a turn took place in every one of our lives. It was 11:30 at night when bhaiya heard a knock on his door. He thought maybe someone might have come to visit him as Delhi always had a night life. Without asking bhaiya opened the door and he found his old staff standing on the door with some of his freinds. When bhaiya asked him what he was there for and what does he want he just pushed bhaiya and entered the house. Bhaiya used to live all alone. Bhaiya kept on asking him what he wanted but he did not say anything, he just went inside the room and took all the cash and other things from the place and walked away with his freinds but as he reached down suddenly something stroke his mind. He said his freinds that this guy knows me ans if he reports it to the police then we'll be into big trouble. Then he again came back to bhaiya's apartment and tied bhaiya on the chair, there in front of him laid a tool box from which he took a weapon and just seperated bhaiyas head from his body. He was such a big devil because he had killed bhaiya with so much pain. He then placed my bhaiya's body on the bed and covered it and he placed my bhaiya's head on the chair and vanished from there. I still cannot forget that night, the day when suddenly everything had just been snatched away from me. No one said me about it for a long period of time, then one day i asked my nani about what has happened to bhaiya is he all right I had always been said a lie that bhaiya slipped in the bathroom and got hurt that's it, but one day I heard my nani talking to someone about it and that was the time when i actually broke. I could not handle myself. I went all blank and did not speak up till weeks. I had become like a dummy placed in a museum. No single word from my mouth, no single tear from my eyes, I was like finished completely.

I really had a great belief in god but after all this I just starting cursing god for snatching away my life from me. I always used to curse god by saying that why did he take my bhaiya away from me and used to ask him to send to bhaiya as well. God please give me my bhaiya back. Life has really become very difiicult for me without him. I really wish to go where my bhaiya is.

Really missing you a lot Bhaiya. Please come back your Shona is waiting for you................
LOV U DA...................

THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE

"There isn't any formula or method. you learn to love by loving". Love is something that gives a different feel to a person. It is something that can change one's life completely. I feel for myself being very lucky as I've received love from everyone. There are so many people in this world who need me, who are there for me, who care for me, but hope and expectation has been pulling be towards certain .........

I realy love my dad a lot; its really difficult for me to see life without my dad. He has always been there with me in need and has always supported me. At times he has even been rude to me and has scolded me but I never took things at heart because whatever he did or does is for my betterment. He has always made me realize the importance of life and has always helped mebegin my day with a new thought that really does help me a lot in understanding and handling things. Papa has never kept any kind of restriction on us, he only says onr thing that is live your life to its fullest but at the right place and at the right time, but we are the ones who don't listen to them.

It is true that we realize our mistakes after making a mistake. I realized about my mistake at a very later phase of life. The time to apologize for the thing had already passed away and I had already got carried away with the thing; but today i would really like to say sorry to my dad and would like to apologize for breaking his trust which would be for the first and the last time. The mistake will never be repeated again ever. At a certain phase of time I used to be his ANGEL his best daughter, I used to be his life but because of my one mistake I remain no more the same for papa. He still does love me a lot but that trust factor has vanished somewhere. But now I would really like to owe that trust factor again because I know my dad is the only person who can believe me and trust me without any fear. No one else is there in this world who can give me so much of love that my dad has given me and no one can ever trust me as much as my dad trusts me.

Thank You Papa for giving me such a great life and for bringing me into this world. I would really like to wish to take rebirth as your daughter in each and every incarnation of life.

LOVE U DAD.